Thursday, January 15, 2015

Another post about how God uses motherhood to change me for the better. (Warning: I did not proof and wrote this on my phone so it's probably going to sound like a hot mess!)

  So Zayne has had a very hard time transitioning back into having homework again since returning back from Christmas break. Before break he was doing well but each day this week have ended with either none of it completed or only partially. Thankfully he has an amazing teacher that is so understanding and helps any way she can. We have tried it early in the day and later in the day but no time is a good time for Zayne. He completely shuts down and either laughs and tries to be silly, or becomes so exhausted that he almost falls asleep at the table. And that's just after the FIRST question!! Last night was really bad. We tried everything that normal parents do when a child is not behaving as they should, he even ended up with 2 little spankings (which we hardly EVER have to come down to that, but that just tells you how bad this was getting). He just balled louder and still could not even complete one problem. (Keep in mind that one of the biggest challenges autistic kids face is transitioning, especially when they are transitioning into something they DO NOT ENJOY.) So finally we said, out of desperation and resources, to eat dinner and go on to bed and when he woke up, he could finish it then. It was only around 6:30pm at this point. He was so distraught and let's face it, WE were distraught. I know, I know, not our finest parenting moment but there is so much truth to the old saying desperate times call for desperate measures! He refused dinner and went into his room and sobbed in his bed. I couldn't stand it. I knew that there was more to this than just simple defiance. He wasn't trying to give us a hard time, he was having a hard time. I went to his room, laid close to him, and softly asked him if he wanted to pray to Jesus to help him with this. He said yes, so he, with a determined look on his face, repeated a little prayer after me. With his eyes closed, we prayed that God would help him not be so upset about homework. He made sure to repeat every word of the prayer that I said. After the prayer he was still upset but not as much. Then I remembered Drew needed to go to Lowes. I asked Zayne "hey, how would you like to go to Lowes and look at the toilets"? (Because with Z, a trip to Lowes is never complete without a trip down the toliet isle). He softly replied, "yes". I said "I tell you what, you complete your homework without tears and we will go look at every single toilet that Lowes has to offer. And you can show me your favorite toilet and I'll show you mine." Then I asked him which toilets he preferred, and said, "I like the toilet with the flusher on top"). "Cool Zayne". Then I said "so, do we have a deal"? And he said, "yes". Then he went to get up and said, "I'm chillwe" so I asked him, "how would you like to do your homework by the fire tonight?" (that's what he calls the electric fireplace in our bedroom, he LOVES "the fire"!!!) he excitedly said, "yeah!" So sitting by the fire he and Drew raced through all of his homework and he got ALL the problems right faster than I've ever seen. Let me just say he can do 3 numbered addition problems in his head faster than I can! LOL 

   Little did I know when I was saying that prayer with him, I was really praying for myself because it took me changing my way of thinking to get through to him. Sometimes we pray for others to change when its really ourselves that need to be changed. I was praying for Zayne to change his behavior but God reminded me that sometimes I have to change my behavior in order to sync with the needs and uniqueness of my special child. It takes love, prayer, creativity, out of the box thinking, lots of encouragement, and much patience to figure out this complicated world he has to deal with. 

  So, we went to Lowes and not only did we see every toliet but we also had to see all the lights, doors, refrigerators, bathtubs, kitchen cabinets, and anything else that you can install in a house. He hated to leave, he had many opinions about some of them, and he ooooowed and ahhhhhhhed over lots of them! 
  One of the greatest, most difficult things I've ever had to do is be a mom. But oh what a great blessing it is! While we are raising and growing our children, God is also raising and growing us. 
With love,

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